You don't need any more friends

I've been seeing a lot of posts about friendship lately, as many people seem to be setting boundaries and transitioning out of relationships that no longer serve them.

I have done the same, and those posts have given me much needed courage in knowing that I am not alone or wrong in this.

Initially, I felt a lot of hurt over the loss of companionship. Don't get me wrong, there are many people in my life who love and care for me, but they are not here with me, right now. They are scattered across the globe, as we have all taken up our callings to live the lives we are meant to lead. And I am so grateful for that, and them.

But the pain of not having someone to call when I wanted to go out, or even just stay in, was very real. I prayed for a friend to appear. I begged for someone to be there.

I cried many nights for loneliness. I fell into funks when I didn't feel like going out alone anymore. I thought, "There must be something wrong with me. I guess I'm just not a good friend."

I was desperate. Desperate for someone to want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them.

And then it hit me. 

What I was really desperate for was approval. For someone to tell me that I was good. That I was okay. Because for me, not having friends meant that I was not a desirable person. That there was something in me that was pushing people away.

And that very well may have been. I am not perfect. I am human and I am flawed.

But I am also an outstanding creation. I am a powerful, purposeful, potential-full being. I bring light wherever I go and I carry love in my heart.

I am a good person, whether I have friends or not. 

As are you.

I know now that if I let my light shine, the right people will find me.

And the truth is, I don't need any more friends.

I don't need more people who will help me stay where I am or try to bring me down.

I don't need more people who want to gossip or talk badly about what others are doing.

I don't need more people who aren't interested in change.

I need truth-seekers and deep-thinkers.

I need way-makers and risk-takers.

I need earth-changers and energy-arrangers.

I need people who will help me move forward into the life I want to live. 

And so do you.