Accept this

Lately I've been learning to accept the things I cannot change.

In the past, I did my best to control outcomes: making endless plans, working long hours, reading countless articles.

I even tried to control other people, thinking I could make them different so that they would meet my needs.

And it all worked! Everything turned out exactly as I planned!

No, it didn't.

Life happened. Unexpected emergencies drained me financially; people had their own problems and plans; I still made rookie mistakes no matter how many articles I read.

And then I got tired. I got sick of things going wrong no matter how hard I tried to make them go differently.

I got fed up.

And then I let go.

I realized that for all my struggling, I hadn't really made much progress and I wasn't happy. I realized that most of the great things that had happened in my life weren't things I planned at all.

I understood that if I really wanted to be happy, I had to focus on controlling myself, but I hadn't come to terms with my constant need to change things to fit the way I thought they "should" be (there's a lot more to that story).

I always wanted more instead of being grateful for what I had. I always wanted people to be more "perfect" instead of loving them as they were and setting boundaries when needed.

My desires were making me miserable. Life was a constant project that had been sucked of all its joy.

That's no way to live.

So now I'm practicing acceptance. That doesn't mean I don't make plans or I don't go after my dreams. I just try not to get attached to the outcome of my efforts. I don't try to control what other people do. Because when I do, I get stressed. And I'm done with that.

It's like swimming against the current and this girl is trying to go with the flow.

I'll let you know how it goes.